I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
false alarm, still single
Randomize
