dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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