"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
