I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
