i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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