drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
