I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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