i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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