My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
