Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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