I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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