After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
