I hate your face
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
