I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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