the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
