Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
