i think i have herpe
just one?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
