am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
