True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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