??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
