just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Operation Purity has been aborted
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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