i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
