Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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