He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize