You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she peed on how many people?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
