Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
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