She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
