the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
meet me or not, i'm out of control
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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