wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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