Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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