my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
