3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
