Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
