I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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