I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
