I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
