Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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