one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
