I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
