her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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