I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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