I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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