That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
