how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
