My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
