so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
