so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
