can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my being single is dangerous.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
COCAINE IS GR8
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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