So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
