You're my little dorito
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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