how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You dont lie about slip and slides
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
