Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
