he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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