i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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