Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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