called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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