so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
