"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
