I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
