The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
