the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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