There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
He shit in the fireplace
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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