ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
