Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
