your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
