I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
