Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...

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(513): View more from Ohio

She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.

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(585): View more from New York

I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...

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(301): View more from Maryland

i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.

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(217): View more from Illinois

So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america

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(713): View more from Texas

Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me

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(201): View more from New Jersey

we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.

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(317): View more from Indiana

This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang

(317): View more from Indiana

Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?

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