You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
