Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
