i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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